Welcome to The Upgrade, By The Way’s series on travel hacks and hot takes. See how to submit here.
Each year when I get around to mapping out travel plans, I inevitably ask myself the same question: Should I finally take that solo trip I’ve been dreaming about, or do I prioritize quality time traveling with my partner or friends?
Admittedly, this question has led me down countless rabbit holes and ballooned into existential crises of sorts. “Am I even the type of person who can truly enjoy traveling alone?” I wonder. I frantically look back at my calendar in a feeble attempt to squeeze in both the companion travel I had envisioned and the solo journey I yearn for.
The thing is, I’m a classic extrovert. I thrive in lively settings and gain energy from being around other people. But on a trip to Lake Como in 2021, I had a realization: Much like in our day-to-day lives, everyone needs their alone time when traveling. After all, during life outside the alternate reality when away from home, I’m never with any one person 24/7. Why should vacation be so different?
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The northern Lombardy region of Italy is known for picturesque views and being uniquely situated by sparkling water and majestic mountains. My partner is an avid cyclist, so it was no surprise when he wanted to spend an entire day biking around the meandering roads that surround the lake.
On the other hand, I much prefer a day wandering around towns and relaxing at beach clubs. So we ultimately chose to part ways and gave one another the time and space to fulfill those individual desires.
I blissfully sipped spritzes, read a book on park benches, went shopping in local stores and aimlessly explored while he sped by unseen corners of the region. That night at dinner, after our respective experiences, we exchanged stories and scrolled through our camera rolls as if we were returning from our own mini vacations.
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Our days alone looked vastly different, but to my surprise and delight, the independence provided us a newfound shared experience.
Reflecting back, I understand that sometimes compromise isn’t always about making concessions and finding common ground; sometimes it’s doing exactly what you want and accepting that reality.
Now, even for an extrovert like me, alone time is something I intentionally seek during non-solo travel. So, yes, you can do both: have the joy of a group trip and the freedom of a solo trip. But how, might you ask?
I always find it’s helpful to first identify the commonalities between you and your travel partners. That’s what you’ll fill your itinerary with: the sights, the restaurants and any area of natural overlap.
Then, and perhaps most important, identify the differences. Does your travel partner need an afternoon siesta or prefer to eat breakfast in bed rather than out and about? Those are moments where you can each lean into that much-needed solo time.
My advice? Embrace the journey, both with others and within yourself, and savor the beauty of finding personal space amid shared adventures.
Olivia Rogine is a Denver-based brand strategist. You can follow her on Instagram: @oliviarogine.
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